She knew, that indeed he had been smoking but pushing that into her tiny pocket she had pressed against the idea in her minda of love. The beautiful beast looked her way and smiled a pleasnt enough looking smile, making her yern to touch his pale skin, so she sat beside the smiling face and drew with a mark in hand on his arm a bird of fire. Pheonix. She sighed inward, and felt his arms wind around her thighs and waist, to see him kissing her was almost as if he were joking, but little did she know he likes to laugh. The group of teens got up and migrated downstairs, tuning in on the TV. The boy and girl lay on the rough carpet, behind a center peice of the living room. The boy, anxious to resume the game of cat and mouse, began caressing her. The girl, shooken and taken to the land of shock, was begining to understand the meaning of "youth and reckless". She bit on her bottom lip, and stopped the boy mid way throught her sweat pants. He whispered against her ear many things, but they seemed to go by in a blur, like a racehorses hooves pounding and echoing against your ears. She shivered to his breath wich stung like a bee and felt as good as a kiss from a strawberry. She let her eyes fall to the retreat of blackness. Rolling on her side, she felt her own fist clench in his shirt, for her and his lust had combined to one lolling thought of an empending subject. The thought scared her to death, but this fear she welcomed as the boy made a move after move upon her innocence wich was about to be lost in time. The two longed to feel less open, for yes, the lights were off but the TV, and their friends had all but stayed awake, strewn across the room like animal pelts for sale. The couple went up the stairs, finding a place of privacy. The girl sat down on the steps, and the boy was soon to stratle her. Kissing her tender and bitten lips lovingly, he whispered "I love you." She said the same in his ear. Eventualy, the two found his room and futon to present the shelter they longed for. Settling down into their lust, they made the night stretch into the broad morning. Both were exaughsted after wards, and made their way to return the favor of strength to themselves, curled into each others arms and fell asleep. A loud nose rose through the house, wich stirred the girl to her open eyes, not yet awake. She looked upon the beautiful boys face and smiled a gentle smile. Kissing her loved one awake, she looked into his morning eyes, wich looked upon her with such passion and loving. He outstreched his arms wich were seated around her, and moved his leg from between hers. The two, still exaughsted having only an hour to sleep, woke to the level of sinces to relize the sudden fear of a parental about the house moving. Rising up off the harsh floor, both stiff and soar, helped each other to stretch. The night before took its revenge upon the girl harshly, and in the garage, where the boy and others smoked, the girl tried to breathe in, her stomach twisted and shook in retort. She ignored the discomfort and forced herself to breathe, dispite second hand smoke, for she would simply refuse to leave the boys side unless appointed to do so. She closed her eyes to hide her pain from him. Not noticing the boy smoked swiftly from a bowl and kissed her open mouth without inhaling to much or exhaling. The girl, alergic to any kind of smoke, took in the over powering fumes and nearly doubled over. Gripping desperatly at the wall to keep herself up, her stomach wrenched and turned causing her to yelp. The boy caught her and held her close. "sorry, I wanted you to try it.." she was shaking, not knowing what to say, only nodding in response. When the boy was done, he looked at the girl, who now looked pitiful from holding her breath and had dark circles under her eyes from a lack of energy. The boy had a rested look, now that he had had a fix. The two left and went into the kitchen. There the girl reccuporated, shedding the paleness of no breath and a turning stomach. Her insides began to slow their throbs and slowly stopped. The girl smiled at her feeling betterness and walked to her love. Wrapping her arms around him lovingly, she kissed him, not caring about the smoke that lingered on him like a blanket. He held her close and kissed back. Alass, the perfect days had to come to an end, and her father picked her up and took her home. When she returned to the high school she thought was her haven, to see her friends and her love... she was wrong. The once happy place had broken out into a place of heart break and war. The girl walked inside, still shaken by the bus ride and the site of her love whom sat in front of her on the bus. Smiling at her friends who simply ran to her in a rush of questions, all revolving around a boy, in wich was her love. She was caught off gaurd that simply, she just couldnt be happy. Things got from bad to worse. Her love, the one she trusted, the one she had shared her first love with, gave her a carefuly placed note, but the words on the inside, made her feel a new sortof pain. A pain that echoed through her body, a pain that was so empty and so bleak. She felt her knees long to kiss the ground. She felt her feet almost die out. But what she couldnt feel... now that... thats what killed her. She didnt feel the warm love she had thought was there in the boys heart. She didnt feel the tender, smokey lips that made her choke and cough. She couldnt feel it. Thats what the pain was. Not what she could feel, but what she couldnt. She flew like a pheonix that night, but now she was shot down. Now she stares emptily at that boy in the first seat of her bus, the beautiful shock came like lightning. He was her love, and he keeps her going, and keeps her dying. She was a beautiful rose but now is witering in the sunlight, needing water to survive, but no one will be her ocean. The only thing to comfort her now, is that pheonix, the one on his shoulder, as it should be. The only memory of that night. She is the pheonix whos flames were to bright for a 17-year-old boy to put to waist, yet instead, he lets them burn out. Now, she sheds her burnt feathers.


the girl is me... the boy is a boy of a name that comes only to those who wish to know.

yes, this is going to stay a journal and idc if this is a story or should be a deviation. needed an updated journal any way.

this is a true story


thanks.